Welcome to the 2013 Marie Awards!

awards

This is the voice of Neil from The Young Ones, welcoming you to the Marie Awards, where we will be counting down the highs, the lows, the slight achievements, and the major fails of My Wild Surmise for the year 2013.  Since its inception in May, My Wild Surmise has been wildly surmising about all manner of things related to music based on shakey facts from Wikipedia and various YouTube videos.  Now let’s go to our co-host and creator of all this ridiculosity, Marie, for our first offering in today’s embarrassing outpouring of self-congratulatory alternating with self-derisive malarkey. Marie, take it away…

Marie: Well, Neil, first I’d like to thank you for lending your voice to my imaginary co-host. Let’s kick off this major event in the life of my blog by looking at what other people have done, specifically, the YouTube geniuses that have made my extreme YouTube addiction such a fun, entertaining monkey to have on my back.

In the category of mind-blowing video art that makes you think you’ve accidentally dropped some acid when in fact you’ve only taken your blood pressure pill and some Tums, the award goes to fellow blogger MetalGuruMessiah for Kansas’ “Portrait (He Knew)”.  I love this song, and Mr. Messiah certainly does it justice with his outstanding video…

Neil: Wow, far out, man. I mean Marie. I mean, it was no “Hurdy Gurdy Man”, but still pretty cool.

Marie: Cool indeed, Neil. And so is the recipient of our next award, “YouTube Covermeister of 2013”, Larry L.!  Give it up for Larry L., everyone!  A former wedding band musician, Larry L. is keeping the music alive for all us YouTube junkies in his home, week after week.  Many thanks to Mr. L. for his dedication!  Larry L, as I’ve told you before, you’re my kind of guy.  I could sit on that couch in the background and listen to you all night.  Here’s a song that exemplifies everything I love about Larry L. – honest, simple, humble, and expertly done.  Enjoy the beautiful “Reflections of My Life”, originally by the Marmalade.

Neil: But, Marie, he’s an old guy – I thought we weren’t supposed to trust anyone over thirty.  He’s gotta be a bread head, man.

Marie: Neil, maybe you haven’t noticed, but you’re an old guy too. You’re only young in my head…but wait…I saw you on that episode of Midsomer Murders and that spoiled that delusion. The fact is, we’re pretty much all old guys here, including myself…the female version, I mean.  Screw youth.  Just get over it.

Now that we’ve looked at the achievements of others, let’s go ahead and present my biggest fail.  A great musician that deserves far more than I’ve given him, which is a partially read biography and a never written post – it can only be Jeff Beck.  Here’s the great Mr. Beck with one of the ass kickingest songs in the history of rock ‘n roll…”Going Down”…

Neil: Reminds me a lot of “Hurdy Gurdy Man”, except faster.  And completely different styles, course.

Marie.  ……  silence …..  Moving 0n to our next category, most paranoia inducing song and post, there can only be one contender, and that would be the post titled, “A Friday Song for the Land of the Free” with its accompanying song.  Umm…excuse me a minute…Dear Big Brother, I know that posting that song probably put me on some kind of top-secret pothead radar or something, but let me reiterate…I JUST LIKE THE SONG!  It does not reflect the personal views or lifestyle of this blogger.  Now light up or leave me alone.  Sorry, Big Brother!  That was just another song from another band (cough, cough TRAFFIC cough, cough) that’ll probably be in a future post.  Again, just liking the song, no reflecting of views, etc.

Okay, the award for “Most Paranoia Inducing Song” goes to “Shanty”!  (And the crowd smiles wanly and stares at me with red eyes.) Jonathan Edwards, live this time, with his lovely daughter, Grace.

Neil: Marie, that was heavy, man, but you’re probably going to get a bunch of breadheads after you for that.  Better stick with something safe like “Hurdy Gurdy Man”.  Just sayin’.

Marie: Neil!  I mean, I appreciate you lending your voice and all, but this self-promotion is out of hand!  It is you..YOU!  That has become the breadhead! Now sit over there and eat your lentils and let me announce the next award, which is for best new (to me) music.

Neil

I’m generally really hesitant to even bother listening to music from this century – I usually close-mindedly assume that it’s just going to be more of this crappy crap substitute for music that’s foisted on to us at every given opportunity, but when ultra-cool fellow blogger Matt Syverson over at Paperback Rocker posted some songs by Ryan Adams, I decided to give them a listen because I trust and respect his judgment. It turns out I was right to do so.  This kid has made some of the best new music I’ve heard in years.  This song is the first one of his I heard, and it is a favorite.  Here’s “Magnolia Mountain”.

Neil: ……  silence …..

Marie: Neil? You there?

Neil: …. yeah ….if you still want me.

Marie: Of course I do, Neil!  You know you’re my man. We go way back, baby.  Remember I used to read aloud from your book to entertain my friends and all?

Neil: well, all right.  I’ll let it go this time, but you’ve changed.  You’re such a straight these days.  What a drag.

Marie: Of course I am, Neil. I had to grow up.  I had to get a job and raise a kid.  But the old me lives on too.  Why else would I listen over and over to songs from my not so draggish days?  Like this next one.  This song wins the award for most played YouTube video of the year.  I watched this clip so many times this year, it really was embarrassing. It got so bad that I would exit the screen when someone walked by as if it was internet porn for fear of being the target of ugly terms like “obsessive-compulsive behavior” and “whack job”.  Here’s Roxy Music with my beloved “Mother of Pearl”; a fantastic performance.

Neil: That was all right, I guess.  But I can’t help but notice that there’s no Donovan or Steve Hillage on the list of awards.  Both do a great version of the best song in the history of rock.

Marie: I have nothing against Donovan or Steve Hillage, Neil, but I can’t include everyone here.  In fact, this post is already getting way too long and there’s probably no one listening to our awards show anymore as it is.  Let’s just do one more and wrap it up.

This award is for the most important song (to me) that I’ve talked about this year.  This is the song that opened my doors of perception, at a very early age, to a new kind of music; the kind they played on the FM dial on my little blue radio I got as a kid. Specifically, it created in me a love for the electric guitar – its many moods and expressions – that has lasted all my life, influencing me in the choices I made, causing me to spend my small resources on albums and concerts; and inclining me forever toward dating and hanging out with musicians. This is the long, heavy-duty, extra delicious version; you really need to listen to it on vinyl and at high volume, as mega-cool Bruce at vinyl connection can tell you, but if you’re like me and ditched all your records way back, some decent headphones will help. Here’s “Nantucket Sleighride”, by Mountain.

Neil: I gotta admit, that was pretty groovy, Marie.

Marie: Profoundly groovy, Neil.  Well, that’s it – thanks for coming!

Neil: That’s it?  REALLY? You got my voice here and you’ve not even going to play my song?  Unbelievable.  You know you like it, Marie.

Marie: Sigh.  You’re right, Neil. I can’t lie. Your version of “Hurdy Gurdy Man” is the best I’ve ever heard.  Better than Donovan.  Better than Hillage.  Better than them all.  And you know what Neil?  I owe it to you to play it.  You’ve been sort of my blog mascot. And my mascot in life, really.  So here’s Neil (Nigel Planer) and some slightly mysterious and not fully disclosed but real, serious musicians doing…that song.  Don’t make me say it again. It starts at about 1:40.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

May the Hurdy Gurdy Man bring you all the roly poly flaky pastry you can handle!

May there be peace and joy and flaky pastry buzzes galore in your shanty!

May we never have to go to another horrible New Year’s Eve party and hide between the cars in the driveway to avoid the drunken, slobbery kissing ritual again!  Or maybe that was just me.

Questions?  Shocked and Horrified Observations?  Anything?  Please Share!

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9 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Humor, Humour, Music, Uncategorized

9 responses to “Welcome to the 2013 Marie Awards!

  1. Marie, I have enjoyed your humour and enthusiasm throughout our blogquaintance (is it only 8 months?). Look forward to more stories in ’14.

    • I’ve enjoyed reading your great posts and getting to know you too! You’re just plain awesome! How the heck do you know so much? Was it just working in the store with the electric razors and dusty records? You’re a rock guru extraordinaire for sure.

      Happy 2014! I can hear fireworks going off in my neighborhood as we speak. 🙂

  2. Very well written, Marie. And an interesting selection of musical choices.

  3. Marie I liked this post. Encapsulating 2013 is quite the challenge is it not?

  4. Excellent post Marie. And thanks for hanging out with musicians, as they say “Without a girlfriend most lead singers would be homeless” take care in 2014

  5. Pingback: One Year of Wild Surmises: Looking Into You | My Wild Surmise

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