Exercise for the Anti-Athlete: Gettin’ Funky

  I was never an athletic girl.  I was the one that sat in the outfield making clover chains as the softball flew over my head.  I was the one feigning cramps regularly in P.E.  I was the one that sat by the fire, flirting with ski instructors, on the big ski trip.  I was the one that only faked an interest in football, and that was just to make some guy happy. In fact, the best football game date I ever had was when the guy wanted to leave at halftime to go check out a band downtown.

Fortunately for me, there is one bright spot in this vast wasteland of non-athleticism – music makes me move.  A lot of times when I go to concerts and everyone is sitting, it’s all I can do to stay in my seat and not be “that one girl” that stands up and dances wildly and makes a fool of herself.  The inner Marie is dancing just as wildly as the one girl, and always has been.  One of my earliest memories is of dancing by myself in my bedroom as The Monkeys’ “I’m a Believer” played on my little portable record player.

I was in junior high and high school during the heyday of funk, and that really took the “I’m a Believer” side of me to a new level. They played a lot of great songs at the Friday night dances at the Jaycee Hut.  In case you don’t know what a Jaycee Hut is – the Jaycees, which stands for Junior Chamber of Commerce, is sort of a service club, and they used to call their lodges “huts”.  So our Jaycees used to sponsor Friday night dances at the Hut for local teens during the school year, and they had a swimming pool that we used in the summer.  We’ll talk about the pool later, but for now, let’s take a look at the comedy of errors, or the cluster of sad ironies, that was the Friday Night Jaycee Dance.

The main issue was that only a few of the boys would dance.  This caused a big problem, because for some reason, at that time in Lynyrdskynyrdsville, it was unacceptable for girls to dance together.  So the place would be packed with non-dancing kids, with the boys on one side of the room, and the girls on the other side.  Luckily, I had male friends from the band that would dance the whole time – those were the Weird Al Yankovic-types that just got out there and shook their skinny white butts, usually exaggerating for comedic effect.

But most of the boys just stood there, arms folded, sour expressions on their faces, waiting for a slow dance, at which time, if they felt confident and motivated enough, they might ask a girl to dance.  To tell the truth, I think that even then they would have preferred to stand completely still and just enjoy the full frontal contact thing.  After the slow dance, it was back to standing grouchily against the wall, and the Weird Als would rule the floor once more.  So the bottom line is that this situation deprived the boys of what they wanted more than anything, which was to be close to the girls, and it deprived the girls of the boys’ attention, which is what they wanted more than anything, and for which they had spent hours perfecting their Farrah Faucette ‘dos and blue eye shadow.  All this angst and heartache because of an inability to get down and get funky.

It’s a good thing that this situation resolved itself by college, or the dance clubs would have really sucked.  But it did resolve, and a lot of these non-dancing fellas figured out that having some smooth moves on the dance floor could only be advantageous to them. Finally there were enough males to go around.  The best dance club that I ever went to was in Athens, Greece.  This place could have rivaled the famous Studio 54 – it was massive and absolutely wild. I couldn’t understand anything that anyone was saying, but it didn’t matter – who needs words when you’re dancing?

So what does all of this have to do with exercise?  Well, for most of my adult life, I walked around a huge college campus 500 times a day, but now, I’m teaching mostly online from home, so I need another form of exercise.  One that doesn’t require much athleticism.  One that’s fun.  Happily, thanks to my inner dancing queen, all I have to do is switch on some good funk, and you can’t keep me still.  I’ll be up on the treadmill, or doing an exercise video (muted, of course), or just plain dancing.  It’s also a mood elevator.  You want to feel happy?  Cheerful?  Optimistic?  Try working out to some of the songs below and see what happens.  Here is a list of the 100 greatest funk songs if you want some more ideas.

Okay, so here’s some of my very favorite selections from my long workout playlist, followed by a video countdown of the top three…

“Tell Me Something Good”, Chaka Khan

“Play That Funky Music”, Wild Cherry

“Fire” and “Love Rollercoaster”, Ohio Players

“Lady Marmalade”, Patti LaBelle

“Fight the Power” and “Who’s That Lady”, Isley Brothers

“You Haven’t Done Nothin” and “Superstition”, Stevie Wonder

And now for my top three. In third place…Will it go round in circles? Will it fly high like a bird in the sky? It sure as heck will. By Billy Preston.

In second place…by the great Stevie Wonder…good Lord, this song just sizzles…

Edging out that reggae woman by a slight margin, we have this song that just makes me crazy for some reason. I start every workout with it. I love everything about it, and the way it stops and starts in the middle before the guitar solo just sends me. Here’s the fabulous Isley Brothers, from the outstanding album, Go For Your Guns.

Questions?  Comments?  Please Share!



Filed under Fitness, Music, Uncategorized

9 responses to “Exercise for the Anti-Athlete: Gettin’ Funky

  1. You know I can totally relate to your post as I was one of those boys with my hands in my pocket, looking at the floor and trying real hard to be cool while standing against the wall. It took college and alcohol to finally make it to the dance floor. Excellent funky tunes list, might I add Tower of Power “What is hip” and Average White Band “work To Do” . As always great post.

    • On behalf of all the girls you danced with, thank you for getting out there and boogieing down! Those are great songs you mentioned too. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  2. I think we all went to the same junior high dances… LOL

    • I guess the miserable teen dance is pretty much a shared human experience. The dashed hopes and dreams. The embarrassment and awkwardness. Terrible, lol!

  3. You just shake your bootie, girl. On Ya!
    And can we please have the story of ‘leaving the football to go see a band’ date?
    PS. Floyd and Neighbour Music Story in press. Delayed due to a date with Hawkwind.

    • I would tell that story, but all I remember clearly is my great relief at getting to leave the game. Looking forward to your neighbor story – I don’t know what a Hawkwind is though. If it’s anything even remotely sports related, I wouldn’t have a clue anyway, lol. 😉

  4. God….there were so many wonderful songs in the 60’s and 70’s……I listen to them all constantly and they have such power to make me feel both extreme joy and extreme sadness at the same time.

    • I feel exactly the same way. I’m so glad I was young during a time that music was expanding so prolifically and creatively. But there is a bittersweet quality to it for me too – it was so many years ago now and there’s been such a sharp decline in the quality of music that is put out today.

  5. Pingback: The Diamond Girls | My Wild Surmise

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