I’ve Been Everywhere, Man.

It’s that time of year when I start trying to plan my little feeble summer vacays. I use the terms “little” and “feeble” accurately here because adjunct faculty really don’t make a whole lotta moolah, as you are probably aware.  In fact, full-time faculty don’t bring in the big bucks either.  Unless that was just me and I was getting suckered all those years, which is certainly possible.  If you detect a note of bitterness here, I congratulate you on your powers of perception, because I guess I am a little bitter about not having the money to travel around the world like I really want to do.  But I try to suppress these feelings and soothe my wanderlust by planning a lot of short, inexpensive trips, often involving a concert that I want to see. By short and inexpensive I mean three or four nights max, usually at a Hampton Inn or Holiday Inn, and within a day’s drive from home.

What this means is that I’ve been everywhere remotely interesting that’s within about a 600 mile range of Jackson many, many times. In keeping with our featured song, I’ll list some of them, starting to the west and working to the east (generally speaking)…San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, Houston, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Hot Springs, Little Rock, Branson, Gulfport, Biloxi, Gulf Shores, Orange Beach, Pensacola, Destin, Panama City, Tallahassee, Memphis, Nashville, Chattanooga, Gatlinburg, Asheville, Louisville, Atlanta, Savanna, Charleston, Jacksonville, and St. Augustine, Florida.

I’ve been everywhere, man.  Everywhere that I can afford, that is.

I can’t do this clip without a shout out to our brother from down under, Bruce. This is the original version of this song, by Lucky Starr. (Clip mistakenly has a picture of Rolf Harris – ignore that.)  And my apologies to the spinster cousins for the cheesecake shot, but at least she’s a real woman, not one of these fake-boobers.  All three of these fun videos have pictures of the places mentioned…

And now the U.K. version, which really is by Rolf Harris. This is for Jamie.  Hilarious!

Not gonna leave us North ‘Muricans out…and now, hailing from beautiful Nova Scotia, here’s that great singing ranger, Hank Snow.

Don’t feel too sorry for me, though.  I did a lot of traveling back when my Daddy was around – we went all over North America and almost every state, including Hawaii.  All over the Caribbean too. Plus you know about my shocking braless Grand Tour of Europe. And I have plans for major travel again one day.   Turns out that my kid’s one of them-there brainiacs and a big ole scholarship is coming down the pike. You know what that means for the college fund, right?  Y’all better scan the open skies, peer across the ocean waters, and listen for the unmistakable sound of my 1997 Buick, because I’ll be movin’ on…

And I like to imagine someone saying, “Gram Parsons introduced the Rolling Stones to country music” to me, and me smugly playing the video below for them.  But that ain’t ever gonna happen.  I never get to be right. (Yes, yes, of course I love Gram, you know I do. Can’t wait to visit his Nudie suit in Nashville again this summer. And by the way, I notice that you can buy a replica of Gram’s Nudie suit, and I swear by all that is country rock, I’m getting one of those suckers one day.  When my ship/unused college fund comes in.)  Okay, this sounds awful compared to good old Hank, but here it is…

Questions?  Comments?  You’ve been everywhere too, man?  Please share!



Filed under Humor, Humour, Music, Travel, Uncategorized

23 responses to “I’ve Been Everywhere, Man.

  1. This is funny because, I wrote a poem on this subject…wanting to go places but not being able to afford it. May or may not publish it… but if I do I will dedicate to you. Funny how I so often see glimpses of myself in your blogs which is why I love reading them…I relate! Congrats on your smarty pants son but no surprise if he has a mommy like you.

  2. I see myself in your blog too. Too bad we live on opposite sides of the continent – together, we would be unstoppable! A force to be reckoned with! Ha ha!

    You should post your poem! I love your poetry, and everything you write! So witty and clever.

    She’s a smarty pants daughter. Science and math. In your face, male-dominated academic disciplines! 😀

    • Right but if you read the comment on my blog back to you, we will see we both will end up in Colorado together. BTW, sorry, why did I think you had a son?!

      • Sounds like a plan. Maybe we can be business partners. I’ll handle the fresh produce.

        On the kid, I’ve probably pretended she was a boy here before, in case an Internet weirdo stalks me and discovers I’m old and ornery. That way he wouldn’t be looking around for the younger, less mean version of me. lol

  3. How much do those Nudie Suits go for, anyway…?

  4. Had no idea that the song had been adapted for territories far and wide. Ya just can’t keep a good novelty song down, eh?

    And know this: if I was boss of the cubby, educationalists and human services workers of all descriptions would be paid the same as bankers.

    • Had great fun listening to the different versions of that song and watching the silly clips. Thought I needed to lighten my blog-mood up a bit. 😉

  5. Skinner

    The only thing missing is a trailing off dog bark. Like at the end of Holiday Road by Lindsey Buckingham!

  6. So the question I gotta ask you is which town do you like best Memphis or Nashville ?

    • Good question! I go to Memphis for shows and concerts at the beautiful Orpheum Theater and to eat BBQ. Lots more to do in Nashville and more live music options too. I think Nashville wins by a nose. But both are well worth a visit, so come on down. 🙂

  7. LOL, what a great post, and I had to follow Marissa’s blog after reading that conversation.

    Came to grabbing a link so I can use it in my weekend music post tomorrow. I came home from work and decided the best think I could do for my blogs was take a nap, so didn’t get it up this afternoon. And of course I have to catch up while I’m here 😉

  8. Thank you for that reference, Marie, with the Rolf Harris clip. (He’s under somewhat of a cloud over here at the moment due to a court case re underage girls….).
    Never, ever apologise for a cheesecake shot! They keep sad lonely men going, especially the married ones. And then you reference your ‘braless’ post – you shameless hussy!
    Loved the Stones song. And the post overall. Very interesting.

    • Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that about old Rolf! Eeewww. Let’s hope it’s not true. And thanks for calling me a “shameless hussy”, lol! That made me cackle like the old crone I’m slowly morphing into.

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